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28 May 2005

Where's the Beef?

The other day, my grandfather took my brother David and I to the McDonald's drive-thru for a late dinner. It was 21:00 and we hadn't yet eaten.

Like most kids, David has developed certain likes and dislikes when it comes to food (as well as I have, but that's not the point). Both of us love bacon, and neither of us really likes condiments such as ketchup or mustard.

Now, I haven't liked McDonald's burgers for well over a decade. So, as usual, I ordered a 10-piece box of Chicken McNuggets with barbecue sauce (yum!). David ordered a plain bacon cheeseburger.

"I'm sorry," the cashier said. "We don't have bacon cheeseburgers." (Apparently, that's Wendy's.) "But I can give you a cheeseburger with bacon on it."

After thinking on this rather odd comment for a moment, David agreed.

I told you already David doesn't like condiments. In fact (like me), he'll refuse to eat a hamburger with condiments on it. So, he implored Grandpa to emphasize that his bacon cheeseburger cheeseburger with bacon was to be plain. Hold the mustard, hold the lettuce; special orders don't upset us...(wait, that's Burger King).

The message was passed along, and all was good. We got our bag of food and drove about three miles to Grandpa's house.

When we arrived, I opened my McNuggets and began eating. David, as usual, started to check his burger to make sure nothing foreign and unwanted was on it. Except his burger was a bit shorter than usual (you know, not tall). He opened it up and his eyes widened:

Where was his beloved and much anticipated all-beef patty? It was no where to be found! On the bun was smiply a slice of cheese and two strips of bacon (ooh, two strips).

The moral of the story is: special orders apparently do upset people at McDonald's. So much so, in fact, that they'll give you a burger without burger for the same price as a burger with burger.

Who do they think they're fooling, anyways? What kind of a person orders a cheeseburger with no beef? You might as well waltz into a grocery store and buy a block of cheese and a loaf of bread. You could get about 20 "cheeseburgers" for the price of one McDonalds burger without burger.

Oh, well. Grandpa wasn't about to drive another three miles each way just to complain. My brother ate the burger without burger anyway.


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